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About Me
- Jacks Mom
- My name is Jack's Mom. That's not what it says on my drivers license but I stopped being my own person at 6:02 am on May 30, 2008.
So he'll have something to tell his therapist in 30 years.
Things Jack can now do...'cause I know you care.
- Grow teeth.
- Poop big boy poop. See list below.
- Eat food. He likes green beans.
- Sit up...sort of.
- Roll over.
- Hang up on people.
- Change the setting on your tv with the remote so that it now displays close captioning in Spanish.
- Make razzzberries. pppzzzzzzzzt!
- Grab the bottle (or boob) when you hand it to him. He can't hold it on his own, but he's making progress.
- Laugh. And laugh and laugh. And make adults around him laugh like a dumbass.
- No long pound his angry little fist durning tummy time. He likes it. And is, in fact, trying to crawl.
- Pound his angry little fists during tummy time.
- Talk. But at this point it just sounds like German.
- Melt hearts.
- Make alot of spit and bubbles.
- Pop his pacifier 4 feet across a room.
- Play with toys. He likes crinkly ones the best
- Take his socks off.
- Hold his head up for 20 seconds.
- Poop vertically.
- Pee a fountain that rivals the one at the Belagio Casino in Las Vegas.
- Turn his normally usually almost rational mother into a stark raving sleep deprived lunatic who is willing to bribe him with his own car if he'll just go back to sleep. For the love of god!
- Smile. It's the cure-all for everything.
- Scream bloody murder so that I'm sure my neighbors MUST think I'm comitting murder on someone.
- Poop seeds even though he has a liquid diet.
- Make my boobs leak just by crying.
- Make his mother and/or father disappear when around his grandparents. "Oh look...Jack's here." And so is his mother, who drove him here.
- Fart like a 40 year old man.
- Hang up on people.
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